“Oops”

commonchameleon92:

liefullyloki:

7. Your character walking in on mine making a shady transaction. 

Stepping out of what was most obvious an adult store, Loki ran into one particular mortal he had only just recently met. Holding a small, black bag that did well to conceal the contents yet not their odd shape, Loki chuckled a slightly nervous laugh as he knew there was no denying he must have acquired something from such a shop. “Ehe… ‘t-‘tis a wig…” he tried sheepishly. 

“A wig dear?” Kayla chuckled deciding to roll with his poorly crafted statement,peppering her words with a knowing insincerity and teasing sarcastic tone.   

“That is rather particular sort of packaging for such a thing … What ever would you need a wig for?”  

“Ah, such is one topic I am not at liberty to discuss,” Loki said, laughing a little as he casually re-positioned the black bag behind his back. “I suppose it shall be acceptable to say that I am certainly one who practices many disguises…” He hoped she didn’t get a good look of the bag’s shape. Knowing that what was in it was more than the lump mass of a wig, but a couple boxes as well, both of which were not without their weight, the likelihood that it was just a wig was obviously out of the question… unless the shop happened to package their wigs in narrow rectangular boxes.

(Anothermutie) I want the K.

• 12: Chest Kiss

…Well. This is incredibly awkward. Apparently I am supposed to kiss you on the chest…

green-mischief replied to your post: Mistletoe, Sweater, Merry

“Dalie dear, what did you say about my dear kitten?”

I did not say anything about your kitten. I still have yet to even meet it.

I thought for a moment I saw a dismembered tongue in the bathroom sink.

loyalty-in-green:

dalieisinyourcloset:

loyalty-in-green:

I am not going in there again and I pray that I was only just seeing things. 

Oh, no that was not a tongue, that was a small child’s kidney. I hacked up a family earlier today. You might not wish to open the refrigerator if that little kidney freaked you out…

GET. IT. OUT. 

ALL OF IT! I care not where you put it, but I will not have it anywhere I may see it! 

Where the Niflheim else am I supposed to put it, Sigyn? I cannot just leave it out or it shall spoil and rot.

thepeasantcourtier:

dalieisinyourcloset:

thepeasantcourtier:

*she tries to talk again, desperate to somehow sound coherent around the gag, but the only sounds that come out sound like “plergh uh mu er” and she knows it isn’t going to be enough for him*

I am getting really tired of your shit, Sigyn. *snaps his fingers six times*

*she gasps loudly and arches her back violently, squirming as a very loud moan escapes her and her hips buck violently. Once it’s over she collapses on the floor, bare chest heaving as she tries to get her breath back*

I suppose if you are going to obey my commands, you cannot very well do it in those bindings, yes? *waves his hand and the bindings, blindfold, and gag all disappear* And you should perhaps put some clothes on. Such nudity is unsightly in public. *they’re actually in a grocery store, in the fruits and veggies aisle*

*licks everyone*

cawcawmfker:

dalieisinyourcloset:

You do not know where my tongue has been. Ehehehehehe.

“If I stand still will this end sooner?”

*licks you some more*

Anyone else amused as fuck by Dalie’s horse reblogs?

I know I am.

nekoama:

pandalot:

hurpaderp:

vollove:

aruarian-dance:

centaurzilla:

Legend has it that four hundred years ago a fisherman took his young virgin fiancee to a rock a short way off shore to collect seaweed. He left her there promising to pick her up.

But whilst he was engaged in his work on shore the weather deteriorated, a strong wind started to blow and huge waves crashed against the shore. It was too perilous for the fisherman to sail back to his fiancee and she was stranded on the rock. Eventually the high waves swept the young virgin off the rock and she drowned.

From that day forth the fishermen in the small seaside village of Shinnam were unable to land a good catch. Rumors spread that the young virgin’s tormented soul was causing the sea to become barren.

In an attempt to appease her spirit, the people of the village began carving phalluses and performing rituals. Once they began doing this, the fishermen were again able to achieve a good catch.Hundreds of years later this legend has lead to the erection of a park consisting entirely of sculpted phalluses in Shinnam village, Samcheok, Gangwon Province.

Oh Korea, there are soooo many reasons why I love you.

More pictures of the park:

added this to places to visit this year.

I love it.

‘Oh angry spirit! How can we appease you?’

‘I DEMAND COCKS’

It’s like a park out of a highschool sketchbook

redhairedassassin:

liefullydarkloki:

redhairedassassin:

Then you would remember being pounded into the ground by the Hulk, yes? Do you wish to repeat that experience? If not, stay the fuck away from me.

Ye mistake me for my lys tanke. Ye think I care about what the Hulk did? Mine lys tanke lived from that did he not? I do not understand why he allows himself to be afraid of such a stupid beast. If I were to see that imbecilic oaf, I would rip his heart from his giant green chest and shove it down his throat so I can watch him bleed and suffocate to death.

Interesting.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things I need to do.

No need to excuse thyself. Am I not one of those things ye need to do?